Hurts

I got together again with wilson my ex on the 18September around 2something after school..i accept him back into my life and i love him,care for him and even trust him again..it went so smoothly till yesterday 20September at around 11something as my youth n i went yamcha we broke up..i said do u love me?he say some things cant be force so i know what he means so i said we break up la ans inside of me i was hoping for him to say NO or even DON'T GO or LETS NOT BREAK UP but all he did was kept silent to himself..i knew that answer was ok..i went to the toilet in the mamak store n cry my heart out..hoping no one will notice me..than i act normal than he was going to go home..as i saw him walk away my heart cant help myself but to go and get him back..so i ran to him n say do u really want to leave me?n i cried n say please wilson don't leave me..dun leave me again..all he could say was we sms la..my heart broke and as i walk back i cant take it i just cry n cry it all out on the side of the road telling myself y is he leaving again..and my heart just breaks than i went home i went to my room and cry myself to sleep..edmund teman me to talk on the phone but my heart was bleeding badly..i cut myself..it hurts but that moment my heart hurts more than the cut..i cried till 3.30 n still could cry forever..my eye bengkak than after that we sms and he promise he will celebrate my birthday with me n i hope he keeps that promise..i really dun wan him to go but he wants too so i cant stop him all i can do is wait n cry for him hoping he will come back again into my life n really have the desire to last this n i mean really try not just go wit me but stop arguements n break ups..he to me is my lou gong n my perfect guy which i love..he forever has my heart..love could be the most beautiful thing but it can be the one which hurts u the most too..=(